This week: Seanie and The Tooth Fairy

As I say ‘Don’t ‘like’ my posts (if you think by doing so will draw attention to you/your pain)
Do, however, read, consider and make contact, in absolute confidence, if you have been affected
by any of the issues discussed in today’s blog.

Sharon 087 6959346.

For many years now I have facilitated groups of male and female resident and non-resident parents.
The aim of these groups and the way they are made up is so that participants can try and see things
form each other’s view points and possibly learn from the different view-points.
Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t but it depends where people are at emotionally and the time
elapsed since separation.

Recently I facilitated a group, and in this group a parent spoke about how he and his ex-partner could
not even communicate about the ‘tooth fairy’

Let’s go back to Seanie.

Seanie spends half his week with one parent, and while there his first tooth falls out. But Seanie’s
parent is not really interested in the fact that the tooth has fallen out, and so the tooth fairy doesn’t call
to Seanie.

Seanie goes into school and tells his friends notice that his tooth has fallen out. All of his friends and
his teacher ask him ‘Did the tooth fairy come Seanie?’ and Seanie says ‘no’ Seanie is sad, really sad
and feels that he is not special, as the tooth fairy calls to everyone else but not him.
Seanie tells his other parent…… ‘Guess what happened me during the week, my tooth fell out’
‘Oh Seanie that’s so exciting …. Did the tooth fairy come?’ Seanie says ‘no he didn’t’.
So, Seanie’s parent, asks me as the facilitator, what should I do?

I as the facilitator say ‘You do the tooth fairy’ (Simple in my brain). However, Seanie’s parent says ‘I
don’t have the tooth,’

My response was look it, be creative…. fairies lose teeth…… Seanie’s parent replied…… ‘What
would happen then if the other parent then gave my child the tooth and says I’m a liar’
O my goodness I thought, imagine, – imagine a parent being so vindictive towards the other parent
that they would use the TOOTH FAIRY to hurt the child and the ex-partner so badly.
Sometimes how we hurt each other so badly surprises me.
This is why family mediation is so important to me. As separated parents we were once together and
we made children.

Why, then, because our relationship break down, do we wish to break our children also?
Take time to think, who and what is more important, – hurting yourself with hate, hurting your expartner with hate or teaching your children to hate?
For further information on the benefits of mediation.

Sharon 087 6959346.