Recently during conversations, some people said that although they like my posts they cannot ‘like’ them, and cannot ‘like’ the social media pages.
Of course not.
Liking or sharing a post means that there is an acknowledgement of an issue. Sometimes we simply can’t acknowledge the issue or the possibility of one.
Research will tell us that families experiencing breakdown are everywhere. All sections of society, and attempting to continue in everyday life without letting others know. This we know leads to physical and mental health issues. This we know leads to stress within the home where children feel it, even if there are no angry words or raised voices. Children know,- they know so much more than we give them credit for. This ‘knowing’ may manifest in behavioural issues, either at home or in school, however, this is ‘another/ separate’ issue. Something ‘wrong’ with the children, not the issue of the relationship breakdown within the home.
We, as parents struggling cannot take this on, having to own the fact that the ‘marital’ relationship is breaking, is too much to manage, let alone trying to manage the impact of the conflict( overt or covert) is having on our children. It is easier to blame a behaviour than to look at the cause.
Unfortunately, we continue this type of (mis) communication within our schools, within our work environments and within our home.
Who do we talk to? We talk to friends, (a friend will provide a listening ear and a biased opinion-all very important when we hurt emotionally). We talk to our GP’s, about the physical pains, the stress and this maybe remedied with a course of medication (again possibly necessary, in the interim). We speak to family, necessary but biased. We cannot speak to each other. And sometimes we do not speak at all.
We need to speak. We need to speak for our own physical and mental health but we also need to speak for the sake of our children. We need our children to realise that it is not their fault, that their behaviour is not the cause of the relationship breakdown but a symptom. Our behaviour is also a symptom!
Asking for help and support is not easy, it means having to acknowledge.
Do not ‘like’ the posts, just make contact confidentially, read content anonymously and take the step of speaking to your (ex) partner about seeking support. Support to work through the breakup in a mature way, or looking at the other counselling individual or couple counselling open to you. It takes strength and courage to do so.
Myrelationshipbreakdown.com can support you through the options. Contact Sharon 087 6959346.